Chapter 71 p. 1: Additional Letters

Letters confirming the foundation I made at Saint-Roch for the repose of the soul of my dear uncle.

To the Administrators of the Saint-Roch Church.

July 10, 1818

Gentlemen,

If nothing exists to present the fulfillment of a vow I made long ago, I wish to establish the foundation of a five-pound candle, to be placed between the Blessed Virgin and Saint Joseph, behind the infant Jesus, and for two masses, one for the repose of the soul of François-Xavier-Edouard, the other for Alexis-Vincent-Charlees Berbiguier. I come to ask you, Gentlemen, to let me know. 

Six weeks later, I received the following response to this request.

To Mr. Berbiguier,

September 1, 1818.

Dear Sir,

I would ask you to please come to my home, in the morning before nine o’clock, or in the evening at five o’clock, to discuss a matter that concerns you. Please believe me when I offer you my highest regards.

Your very humble and very obedient servant,

Auvray

Business Manager, Parish of Saint-Roch

Note.  That same day I went to Mr. Auvray’s home and gave him the funds for the aforementioned foundations: a five-pound candle to be burned every August 15, and the other for two masses, according to the founder’s intentions. 

Here are some new fragments of the letters that were written to me by the Goblin race;

[Undated, est. March 18, 1818]

To Mr. Berbiguier.

With abominable tidings of desolation of earthquake, flood, storm, wind, comet, planet, ocean, ebb, flow, genie, sylph, satyr, elf, dryad, and hamadryad.

The agent of the great spirit of good and evil, ally of Beelzebub and Hell, companion-in-arms to Astaroth, victorious herald, seducer of Eve, author of original sin, and minister of the zodiac, has the authority to possess, torment, sting, purge, cause peaceful nature to rise against, roast, poison, stab, and slander their very humble and very patient servant, Berbiguier, for having seduced Mansotte, coveted Vandeval, outranged nature, and cursed the most honorable and indissoluble magical society. 

In witness whereof, we have affixed the arms of the society. 

Done in the sun, opposite the moon, the Grand Officer Minister Plenipotentiary, on the 5818th day and the 5818th night, Grand Cross and Tribune of the magical society..

This power shall likewise have its effect on his friend, Coco. 

THÉSAUROCHRYSONICOCHRYSIDES 

By His Excellency, the secretary,

PINCHICHI PINCHl. [1]

March 30, 1818

In eight days you will be in my power. Woe to you, if you publish your work.

The Ambassador of all evil spirits, Rhotomago, the fifth day of the moon, to Mr. Berbiguier, exterminator of the infernal cohort.

[undated, est. April 5, 1818]

Berbiguier, will you continue to torment me and all my colleagues? You wretch! You have just caused the death of fourteen hundred of my subjects, and I myself almost fell victim on the day of your labors, when I was in the pipe of your stove. If you would be more lenient with us, we would name you our sovereign. What a proud position you would hold! You would be leader of all the spirits. Not only would you have this great advantage, but so many spirits of great beauty in your palace as well, for you must know that herein we have all the queens, the princesses–in short, all the most beautiful women, who have delighted all the great heroes of the world for these 4,800 years. 

Finally, let me explain to you quite clearly my intentions, and those of my colleagues. Agree to this, and you will be the happiest of all mortals. Otherwise, if you do not cease in tormenting us, we shall be forced to arm ourselves against you and stop your persecutions, rising against you en masse to fight you with lightning torches, to exterminate you during the summer. 

The great Lucifer has summoned us,
and called upon all the generals
and soldiers of hell,to gain
your allegiance, by way
of sweet words,
or if  not,
by force. 

The chief and all the spirits sign here with me, to ask you for peace. 

Ambassador most extraordinary,

Rhotomago [2]

I have in my collection many other documents that would give further support to everything I have said in my work, but something must be reserved for the response I plan to give to any who are bold enough to challenge me. The last blow I will strike them will be a killing blow. 

I have more than a thousand testimonies from people I have cured with my remedy; I have Mr. Pinel’s letter, in which he advises me to take baths, as if baths could calm the ardor that animates me, which must build and increase until the total destruction of the goblin race. 

I have the last letters written to me by Mr. Bonnet, who promised to recant his errors, and who, when he was pushed to his limits, wanted me to fall into a trap he had almost certainly set for me at Versailles, where he had invited me to dine with him. 

I have the testimonials given to me by people who, like me, are being attacked by goblins.

I have the notes of everything that was said to me by a German woman, who possessed great powers in the diabolical society. I have proof that the lawyers wanted to prevent my work from being published because they feared being exposed. But see how the wretches tremble! When I make my reply to my detractors, if I have not yet received complete satisfaction from them, I  shall make them known by name to the entire universe. I have been kind enough, this time, to refer to them only by their initials, because I do not want to give them a pretext for justifying all the delays they have created in their campaign against me. 

I have…. I have…. I have…. But goblins, I am still discreet; I am finishing here the chapter which contains my supporting documents; My printer tells me I have just enough paper left to finish my concluding chapter. I stop, I obey him…and you laugh that I have not yet said everything! Patience, patience. You know, to waste the words of an old proverb, that I am iron-clad against your abominable and diabolical powers, and against all your goblin magic.  

[1] this is obviously an overblown nonsense word of magical power. It may translate into something like “triumphant golden treasure”? Or maybe “beloved golden voice” or something along those lines…-Thesauro meaning “storehouse of treasure,” “chrys” meaning gold, Sonico as sound or “nico” as “victory”. Tentatively, let’s say “Triumphant Golden Word”. “Pinchichi” implies pinching claws.

[2] Rhotomago seems to have been Berbiguier’s personal tormenting demon, but doesn’t seem to be a name otherwise to be conjured with.There’s a cute picture of him in the Dictionairre Infernal: