Chapter 71

My Supporting Documents

Part 1

[note: This runs from page 307 to 418. M.B. has organized these in service to some kind of narrative, threading them by their recipient, or by story, rather than by the order in which they were written. I have no way of proving this, but it seems like he may be adjusting dates as well. No specific evidence of this, but at least one letter (v3p364, letter to Baptiste Prieur) was listed with an October 1818 date when it seems to be an August 1818 letter. This could be an error, but it does show that there is some degree of editing in the Chapter 71 material. I  will also list these in chronological order. Reading these in the order Berbiguier supplies them, you don’t get a sense for how frantic and constant his letter-writing must have been. It doesn’t seem to end in 1821, Mauron mentions some additional letters, and there are 1826 mentions of M.B. taking epistolary offense at a biographic sketch. As I find them these will be listed in the “letters” resource as well. 

In the online translation, I’m breaking these up for ease of reading in a blog-post format, keeping the same order M.B. used.]

I have, at last, arrived at my supporting documents. I’ve compiled them into a collection that should stand as a triumphant response to all my detractors. 

I will transcribe them here, without any sort of regularity in the order or selection of these documents. If I had arranged them in the order of date, it would reveal a prejudice on my part that could be detrimental to me. Instead, I prefer to let the reader wander, sometimes on one subject, sometimes on another. It will be up to him to apply the document he reads to the facts recorded in the passage of my work that will relate to it. 

And as I’ve reached the twentieth sheet of my 3rd volume [page 320], but would like all of my supporting documents to be included, they will be printed in smaller type. Printers, hurry up, get to work! 

Quick to work, I say, I’ll begin with a brief note of the expenses which have been incurred, and will be paid by my uncle’s estate: 

Funeral expenses: 208 fr.
Mourning (for the widow Berbiguier) 249 fr. 9 c.
Expenses for final illness: 437 fr.
Expenses for sealing and discovery: 6549 fr. 72 c.
Mutation tax [inheritance property tax]: 4577 fr. 44 c.
To Mr. D–, appeal attorney: 452 fr. 40 c.
To Mr. D–, attorney: 283 fr. 19 c.
To Mr. B–, attorney: 5277 fr. 4 c.
To Mr. B– and C–,: 2473 fr. 91 c.
To Mr. L–, attorney: 2391 fr. 50 c.
To Mr. B–, attorney: 1318 fr. 35 c. 
To Mr. C–, attorney: 3153 fr. 57 c.
To Mr. M–, attorney: 556 fr. 57 c.
To Mr. de L–, attorney: 9756 fr. 24 c.
Liquidation costs, attorneys, notaries, advisors: 15000 fr.

Settlement with Berbiguier’s heirs: 2700 fr.

Total: 55541 fr. 89 c.

Settlement with the excluded heirs: 9000 fr.

Final total: 57541 fr. 89 c.

This is a provisional total, since Mr. Jousselin, the executor, has not yet submitted his account. 

11/1/1819?

Moreau and Vandeval, to Mr. Berbiguer.

From the Infernal and Invisible Committee.

Farfaredico parafarapines,

Tremble, Berbiguier! Tremble, tireless persecutor of our infernal orgies, eternal disruptor of our slightest pleasures! It is we, Moreau and Vandeval, who are writing to you, we whom you lacerated yesterday with seven mortal pins, we whom you denounced to the priest. And you are not afraid, vile mortal, to arouse the wrath of our infinite power! You broke the third rib on the left side of our tender and dear niece Féliciadoïsca, by pressing her against a wall a few days ago. You also delight, from time to time, in revealing to the first person who happens to turn up, the sacred mysteries of the opoteosoniconi-gamenaco. Tremble! We repeat to you, all your preparations will be in vain, your audacious projects will vanish like the smoke with which you sometimes like to poison our empire. Nothing will be able to protect you from our vengeance, neither your big sackcloth, nor your left side pocket where you put your 30-sol coins [1], which will always be full of our griffardets, nor your voluptuous sausages which serve as a throne for love, and from which came the arrow which wounded the heart of our tender Féliciadoïsca  [2]. 

What had she done to you, wretch, to arouse your black vengeance? She wanted to give you the pleasure of belonging to us. What a beautiful misfortune! An old Roger like you, whom a sixteen-year-old girl wanted to bring with her; what do you have to cry “help!” about?  Tremble, Berbiguier! Tremble totis omnibus membris tuis! [3] You made a hellish racket, claiming that we killed your squirrel on September 12, 1819. Well, we deny it; we only cut off its tail. Berbiguier, it’s for yours that Féliciadoïsca, as soon as she’s healed, shall bring it to us on a plate. The mother of this dear niece absolutely wants it, she claims that you wanted to seduce her. 

Choose war or peace. 

If you want to enter our society, you only have to say “yes” out loud, on February 16, at 3:13 in the evening; then you will be well received, you will be taken away in a flying gondola, which will transport you to a place of delights where you will enjoy yourself ad libitum.[4]

Farewell. Signed Moreau and Vandeval

P.S.,  Pinel, Papon, Choix, etc., etc., speak with us. 

[1] Sol, or sou – a French coin, equal to 1/20 of a franc, with a long and colorful history. It was made obsolete in 1795. 

[2] Griffardets…? This was written in a playful style with some made-up words. This may mean “scratchings,” “claw-marks,” or “handwriting,” depending. Currently at a loss for “The Throne of Love.” My assumption is that M.B. is known to be neurotically prudish and sex-avoidant, so “voluptuous sausage” refers perhaps to his beef-hearts, but also is a sex joke to make him twitch, along with the “she claims you want to seduce her” later. Gelinas specifically talks about this passage in “Intertextuality,” I’ll circle back when I’ve read that essay. 

[3] “Tremble in all your limbs!” or, essentially, “your whole body trembles.” In some sacred writing this has an “I tremble in holy fear of god” connotation. 

[4] “As much as you wish.” M.B. portrays himself as an ascetic, so this is very “Jesus in the desert” style temptation.

11/30/1819?

Lucifer to Mr. Berbiguier.
Empire of the Devils, the 30th day of the moon. Mr. Berbiguier,

It is by the  order of Beelzebub and his council of ministers that I write you now. 

We have already written you a letter, to which you have not replied. You want to attach it to your memorandum; but tremble, if you have the misfortune to bring it to light, there are one hundred and ten of us who have sworn to your destruction. You have put fifteen of the conspirators to death with your sting [1]; I beg you and your colleagues to join or side, or else it is all over for them and for you. You need only decide what position you will hold in our society,  as well as those who work with you to persecute us and foil our plans; in this way, you will help guide them to change their way of thinking about usTomorrow we will go to your house in a deputation of thirty, to get a decisive response; if that is not enough, we will go with five hundred to besiege you and your associates; and you shall all fall together. 

Signed, Lucifer

[1] Sting, or bite – referencing M.B.’s stabbing goblins with pins. I wanted to use the word “prick” here which would have fit as well and been nicely rude.