Chapter 12

A new Jubilee is announced throughout France [1]

A new jubilee, a year of forgiveness and reconciliation with the Church, was announced throughout France. My hopes were that God’s ministers would drive away my demons and bring calm to my persecuted soul. The people of Avignon, my home for the past years, followed the exhortations of their various missionaries with a new fervor. I went to find the one that filled me with the most confidence, and made my confession to him, telling of the evils my enemies had led me to for far too long, though I never knew their reasons. He praised my courage, and told me of his interest and concern. He said I should not cease turning to the divine for relief, and said that such trials were necessary to achieving a happy future, and that those trials were always proportionate to the mistakes made. 

 I had the greatest hopes, in the conviction that the ministers of a merciful God would thwart the leprechauns and bring calm to my soul overwhelmed by persecution. The inhabitants of Avignon, of which I had been a part since my departure from Carpentras, hastened to follow with fervor the religious exhortations of their respectable missionaries. I went to find the one who had inspired me with the most confidence, and made my general confession to him, speaking to him of the evils that my enemies had made me experience for too long, and of which I could not know the cause. He strengthened my courage and took the greatest interest in my position. He advised me not to stop imploring divine power, and added that, to achieve a happy future, it was necessary to endure such trials; that they were always proportionate to  mistakes committed. 

After this heartwarming conversation he mounted his pulpit. After the end of his introductory talk, he paused and cried out with a voice of thunder: “My brothers, this will shock you! Corrupt men without faith, who ignore even the laws of nature and society, trampling morality underfoot and  given over to the most unbridled debauchery, satisfying their base pleasures by every means imaginable, have called down demons in their campaign against the Divine.” He had barely finished this last sentence when a horrible noise spread throughout the church, a rattling of chains, clattering over the heads of the audience. All our hearts were frozen with fear. 

“Rest assured,” said the preacher, “what you have just heard is the sound of the wrath of our God, terrible for the wicked, merciful for the good.”  He continued his sermon, which deeply touched all his audience, but much more particularly myself.The picture that this preacher had drawn of the reprobates of God had so much in common with what I had just given to the hands of my worthy confessor. I went home, lifted by the message that I had just heard. I had a snack.

Later, I went to bed and made plans for the next day. At the light of morning I offered my first thought to God, and went to the church where I had heard mass and received the communion sacrament, with some  other pious people. I returned home, full of the grace I had received, and had a light lunch. At the end of my meal a delicious flavor came to me, and I could only attribute it to the blessed Host, and the joy of communion with Jesus. Later, I went to high mass, then retired to dinner, and again, this delicious, indefinable taste came to me, I could not define it. And it came to me when I ate after the afternoon service. I went to bed, thinking of my actions during the day, and asked for rest, but that continued to elude me for some time.

[1] I really wanted this to be a firm date to nail the plot around. This should be around 1799 to 1801, but apparently the  Jubilee of 1800 simply didn’t happen, it was canceled due to the Napoleonic war. They were held every 25 years, with one held in 1775, when Berbs would have been 10. So perhaps this was 1800, and the churches were celebrating the jubilee informally? If it was also the turn of the century, that might make sense. But generally, Napoleon was not pro-church and religious festivals were tamped down during his reign. Anyone with insight into French history, your input would be welcome!